Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
