fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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