Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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