8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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