Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
