Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
