My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
