Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
