OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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