btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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