I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
