My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize