haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
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but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
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I will pee on everything he values.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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