I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
