Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
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May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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my liver is dry heaving
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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