had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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