I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
