yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
