Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
