They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
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So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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