I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
