I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
