two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
