you would pick up someone in the library
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
