Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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