Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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