my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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