I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
