All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
