I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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