I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
