Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
