Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can't turn off my feet"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
