Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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