I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
