i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
