hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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