it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think I sprained my soul last night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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