I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
