It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
