Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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