my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
