i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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