He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
