he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
