I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I would fuck him just for his dog
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