Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
