Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
