You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
