God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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