Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
