I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize