im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
