So drunk its hurt
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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