I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
