They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
