My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize