false alarm. still invincible.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
