Pappa wants mamma naked
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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