im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
