my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
where are my eyebrows?
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