i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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