remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
