Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
