Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My nipple is on Facebook.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
