I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
